Thursday, September 25th action

Last night featured some frisky six-handed action in Lederach with much of that action occurring well after this blogger was already long asleep dreaming about his beautiful Jewish American princess of a girlfriend. Ahhh, what a woman…..but I digress.

The night was truly “A Tale of Two Cities” for our beloved host Sir Lawrence and his worthy adversary, Mr. Dana. (That will also be the last time I ever reference literature in this blog). Mr. Dana started off on fire and had nearly $1,000 in profits in front of him at one point while Sir Lawrence moped his way to early losses of nearly $800. Mr. Dana was pretty much beating anybody and everybody at the beginning of the night, even adding the dealer button to his large stacks at one point much to the chagrin of the OCD Kevin T. Cooper. Mr. Dana was even the one to send Action Drunk Dan on his sober way last night busting him with his flush over two pair. After midnight, however, when only the most dangerous creatures prowl, Sir Lawrence started to get his “Mojo” back and begun raising irrationally like only he knows how. Sir Lawrence took out Joseph J. Crawford (detailed below) and used that sudden burst of momentum to begin playing every single hand. The late night hand of the night was Sir Lawrence’s turned gut shot straight which ultimately got him doubled up on a $1,000 plus hand when Mr. Dana rivered a lesser straight. Mr. Dana’s recent woes continue as nearly all of his $1600 plus profits are gone from earlier this year. We would go into further detail on this but Mr. Dana already has enough stress trading in this crazy market and, more importantly, we’re still scared he will hurt us if we harp on his losses for too long. Let’s be safe and move on.

As for Joseph J. Crawford, it was his first tough night all month and not just because the Nor’easter we were expecting started, wiping out all the potential landscaping work his “illegals” were going to be doing for him this weekend for $2 an hour. Poor Joe. Instead, fueled by the world’s largest Red Bull, Joey battled all night to stay near even and then got involved with our host, Sir Lawrence, in his last two hands of the night losing more than $200 on those and ultimately finishing down -$289 for the evening. The poker gods might have been inflicting some karmic justice on Young Joseph for flaunting a successful bluff in Kevin T. Cooper’s face after only days earlier taking the same Mr. Cooper for more than $700 in a hand after Young Joseph made a terrible call but ultimately hit two runners for a flush and the winner. Not that we’re bitter or anything.

Michael J. Hauer, this blogger’s favorite card player ever, wrapped up a huge September with his third winning session of the month matching Sir Lawrence’s $494 profit for the night. Msgr. Hauer was the beneficiary of boat over boat against J.J. Crawford, early on, and a big early hand against Sir Lawrence where his flush bested Sir Lawrence’s two pair. Late night, however, Mr. Hauer got talked into a call by the sneaky Sir Lawrence on a Q 5 8 K 2 board when Mr. Hauer’s A Q felt compelled to call a check raise on the river for an additional $115 when Sir Lawrence showed the world the Queen he had in his hand. Of course, we all know that the other card not shown by Sir Lawrence was the case Queen. Ouch. We aren’t sure who dealt but are willing to bet significant money that the dealer’s last name on that hand rhymes with “Smell-son”.

In other action, Drunk Action Dan, now known as Danny Eight Times for his penchant for repeating everything eight times (“Lar, Do we have the over?”, “Lar, Do we have the over?”, “Lar, Do we have the over?”, “Lar, Do we have the over?”, “Lar, Do we have the over?’, “Lar, Do we have the over?”, “Lar, Do we have the over?”, “Lar, Do we have the over”?), made his usual donation, this time -$527, and futile late night Wawa run. Danny Eight Times blew past the $7,000 loss mark since we started keeping tabs in April and now has $8,000 in losses firmly in his sights. His quest for $10,000 in losses before the end of the year looks quite realistic given his shouting “I can’t bet that” tell when he has nothing has gotten worse than Teddy KGB munching on those Oreos. Danny Eight Times also introduced the poker world to the first ever verbal string bet last night: “Kev, I bet 30, 40, 50, 60, 74 dollars”. We don’t know what to quite make of that but keep doing it.

Finally last, but not certainly not least, is Kevin T. Cooper who quietly won $118 and whose only big hand was getting paid nicely on his pocket Aces. Once again, Kevin T. Cooper only plays pocket Aces or better, why does everyone insist on getting involved with him? Must be the engaging personality. Anyway, Mr. Cooper has now booked 6 winning sessions in his last 7 tries, is firmly in the black for the year, climbing the leaderboard rapidly and now in fourth place overall. Maybe now he can finally buy something nice for that Jewish American princess of his……

Have a great weekend, go Phils.