Thursday, February 5th Action

Thursday night featured very frisky eight handed play in Lederach with ridiculous swings in momentum as our 1 2 game starts to more closely resemble 40 80.

The story of the year continues to remain the stellar play of Mr. Chad who added an additional $600 to his totals and is now up over $2500 year-to-date. Dating back to last year, Mr. Chad has now cashed out positive in an astounding 11 of his last 13 sessions. Mr. Chad, ever the kind heart, has won so much money the last six months that he is even looking to contribute some of his winnings to the severance packages he will be offering to his employees this week as he releases them into the world of the unemployed. Hopefully that will leave him with enough spare change for another haircut as it looked like his last one will only last him about a week or so.

The other story of the year is Brian “Moke” Milewski who is up over $2,000 this year after his +$324 session on Thursday. Moke’s big hand of the night was a suck out against host Sir Lawrence when he put all his money in with two pair against Sir Lawrence’s already made flush. Moke watched the board pair for his full house on the river earning him both the $500 pot and the bullseye for the very predictable Alka Seltzer meltdown of the night from Sir Lawrence. We’re still not sure what a “luck box” is but we’ve resisted, thus far, adding that entry to Wikipedia with a big picture of Mr. Chad and Moke, much to Sir Lawrence’s chagrin.

The big winner of the night, however, was this blogger’s favorite card player, Msgr. Hauer who cashed out over $600. Msgr. Hauer’s night was all the more impressive considering he lost several all-in pots to inferior Jewish players, Mr. Cooper and Chommie (aka Chom-a-long-a-ding-dong), who were drawing to long odds. Msgr. Hauer did, however, crack Chommie several times throughout the night proving his inability to crack Drunk, Action, Racist Dan is a statistical fluke and not a weakness in his game that doesn’t allow him to crack terrible, clueless players with no chance.

As for Sir Lawrence, early on he looked to be on pace for a record setting night and had profits of more than $800 in front of him before being sucked out on the aforementioned big hand by Moke and laying down a superior hand (pocket Aces against a “frisky board”) to inferior but dim-witted players, Mr. Kiner and Chommie, who were betting as though they had stronger hands. Sir Lawrence had made money on both earlier in the night, however, the most memorable of which was an easy river call on Chommie’s monumentally bad bluff which included the Chommie special “pump fake” of cards into the muck Sir Lawrence made the easy call with a mediocre hand and it was like taking candy from a baby. Or money from a moron.

The newly engaged Mr. Cooper re-joined the game and played conservatively enough to make one wonder how many ring payments he still has left. Mr. Cooper did play three semi-significant hands during the night, however, which is about two more than average. Mr. Cooper had an impressive double up on Mr. Kiner early on only to watch his winnings slip away before gaining them back on a bad all-in move with pocket King’s against an underboard versus Msgr Hauer’s two pair. Mr. Cooper was rewarded, however, for his bad play with a King on the river to give him a $60 profit for the night. Mesmerizing stuff.

Mortgage broker Dave ran into cooler after cooler early on and found himself down over $1,000 before rallying late night to “only” lose $275. The most painful of the coolers for Dave was his A K hand with an A K flop. Sir Lawrence, of course, had pocket Aces. Ouch.

Mr. Kiner followed his “usual unusual” play confusing almost everybody at the table with his strange betting patterns. While sometimes that works for Mr. Kiner, Thursday that was not the case as he dumped nearly $600. Mr. Kiner ultimately got cracked by a cooler hand as his A Q lost to Msgr. Hauer’s pocket Queens on an A Q flop. Mr. Kiner, upon seeing the result of the hand, jumped up and ran into Sir Lawrence’s storage closet where he only stayed for a moment after, presumably, running into a barely clothed G Ron. Ron, come out of the storage closet and play some cards please. Besides his questionable play, Mr. Kiner also entertained us with his spirited poker debates with Sir Lawrence. Not exactly Frost/Nixon but Kiner/Nelson is still compelling entertainment.

Finally, last but certainly never least, was Chommie. Not to be outdone by his previous weeks performance where he was felted 5 different times and lost $750, Chommie was felted 5 different times this Thursday for $800. Ten feltings in two weeks for $1550 and now losses this year of more than $2,000. Drunk Dan who? Chommie did mount a late night rally which was ultimately stopped in its tracks by, well, better players. Even a late night call to his bank, the second in two weeks, with an actual plea of “I need that money, it’s a desperate situation” was unable to stop the bleeding for Chommie. Unfortunately for Chommie, overbetting pots with bottom pair is not a felony offense so being saved from himself by a return to the clink as a result of a parole violation does not look to be in the cards. Pun intended.

Have a great week.