Thursday, February 26th Action

Last night in Lederach saw relatively tame 8 handed action as we had the least money change hands amongst our warriors all year. Even so, with three fine gentlemen winning over $300 and Sir Lawrence’s second late night all-in suck out with Ace Queen, there is plenty to talk about. Onto the gruesome details:

For the second straight week, the big winner was power player Kevin T. Cooper who cashed profits of $376 for the evening. Mr. Cooper’s big hand of the night was his flopped set of nines which he coyly played against our sleep deprived host, Sir Lawrence, who saw his pocket aces cracked. Mr. Cooper is rolling now and has cashed out positive in five straight sessions and finds himself up over $1,000 for the year. Mr. Cooper even “manned up” last night and nursed a beer over a four hour span. Well done.

Mr. Crawford enjoyed another solid night in between long periods of whining about being card dead and lecturing the table on the joys of sex with pregnant women. Overall, $344 profits for the Desmond from LOST lookalike as young Joseph has clawed his way back from down more than $1,000 earlier in the year to within -$95 of even. Mr. Crawford continues to get extra credit for bringing beer from around the world each week although his whining every time he looks down and has 8 4 reminds us he still is really just not that good of a person.

Msgr. Hauer, this blogger’s favorite player ever, had a nice night winning $351 for the evening. Msgr. Hauer got back at his new nemesis, Mr. Cooper, for constantly raising his blinds by sucking out a straight on the river in a $400 hand that helped boost his win total for the evening. Of course, Msgr. Hauer also was the victim of bad luck earlier in the night when his flopped set got Sir Lawrence all-in only to see our host’s flush draw hit on the river. Unfortunately, it looks like the $351 in profits for the night were not enough to re-sign Msgr. Hauer’s fat hero, Albert Haynesworth, who bolted from his beloved Titans just hours after Msgr. Hauer’s big evening. Can’t win them all.

Mr. Chad broke his one session losing streak and rallied late night to win over $200 and continue his march towards $10,000 in profits for the year. Mr. Chad was cracked early on by a nice all-in river call against a frightening board by Msgr. Hauer but would not be denied. A quick smoke, a walk in the cold night air and a little regrouping for our executive friend and he was back and ready to dominate. Chad style. Mr. Chad started picking up hand after hand including a flopped boat against J.J. Crawford and hitting pretty much anything and everything against Mr. Keegan that helped fuel his comeback. Mr. Chad also had the most homoerotic moment of the night, in G Ron’s absence, calling our host “Snuggle Bunny”, as Sir Lawrence dozed off on the couch before his second buy-in. Yikes. Overall just a good night and week for Mr. Chad as the paper cut on his arm finally healed and he was able to take the huge bandage off of his arm. In addition, in these cost conscious times, Mr. Chad finally wised up and received a haircut that will last him more than 10 days. That’s just a smart guy making all the right moves.

Sir Lawrence won a modest $43 at the end of a long bender of poker despite having his Aces cracked early on by the handsome Mr. Cooper. After initially being cracked, Sir Lawrence did spend an hour “on the rail” falling in and out of sleep while eating a diet yogurt and smiling creepily at the remaining players in his basement. Sadly, this was actually a step up from the normal sleepy and “cracked” Sir Lawrence scene which usually consists of his eating peanut butter with his fingers straight from the jar and playing around on his broken laptop. Sir Lawrence, for the second straight week, had the late night Dr. Pepper Suck Out of the evening and, AGAIN, with Ace Queen. This time, Sir Lawrence found his A Q all-in with a Q 2 3 board against RE St. Clair’s pocket Kings. A running 4 5 gave Sir Lawrence the straight, the $440 pot and the new title of “Luck box” officially transferred over from Mr. Chad. Poor RE St. Clair was left with a brutal beat, no chips and a long car ride home wondering how much more affordable junior college is for his young daughters compared to four year universities. Sir Lawrence also had the class move of the night earlier in the evening (sarcasm intended), simultaneously winning a big pot off of Mr. Chad, giving him the finger and sticking his tongue out at him. Now you know why it’s always so hard to figure out who keeps urinating on Sir Lawrence’s toilet seat. Everyone is a suspect with behavior like that from the host.

Mr. Keegan made his return to Lederach last night but was likely disappointed when he came in and failed to find DUI Dan sitting at the table. That should have been the sign to turn around. Mr. Keegan did stay however and was working the short stack all night even rallying to get more than half his buy in back off his last $14 before finally losing an all-in hand to Chad who refused to play anything higher than an eight against the good natured Mr. Keegan.

John Keegan’s friend Jamie lost $470 for the night and even made the “Drive of Shame” over to Wawa at one point to tap MAC for additional funds, a drive normally reserved for the likes of Chommie and TJ. Jamie was very friendly and frequently got his money in bad which is like putting peanut butter and jelly together…..just a perfect combination. Jamie even had the Drunk Action Dan random terrible all-in bet of the evening betting $91 into a $3 pot with Q 10 only to be called (and lose) to Mr. Chad’s pocket Kings. A panicked late night call from his wife seemed to be the only thing that saved Jamie with a little bit of cash in his pockets for tolls.

Finally, last but not least was Rounding Error St. Clair whose losses last night were, unfortunately, much more than just a rounding error on the immaculate spreadsheet we keep on this game for IRS purposes. (Relax, kidding). Proving nice guys really do finish last, RE St. Clair is now 0 for 8 in our Thursday night game (0 for 6 this year alone) and has never cashed out positive. On the positive side, St. Patrick’s Day is coming up in a couple of weeks and that just HAS to be a good thing for someone named Kevin St. Clair.

Our blogger is out next week although he’ll try to cobble together something humorous from the misinformation he receives from Sir Lawrence. See you in 2 weeks.